The Great Perkin’s Little Boat Race

Back in our early 20s college days,  like all 20-somethings, we used to bar hop then stop for something to eat.  The munchies usually set in around midnight.  There was always a debate on where to stop in and dine.  This particular evening we were in Bloomington near France Ave and 494.  Perkins was the logical choice.

There were usually 8 of us, or more on these weekend college drinking/partying excursions.  Sadly, my memory is a bit sketchy with the overall details.  That was 30 plus years ago.  And a bit too much beer that evening.  No doubt, both.  Anyway, back in those days, Perkins had a wishing well in the lobby.  It was filled with small plastic trinkets and toys for children to choose one.  Fun times growing up playing with the little toy at the table waiting for the adults to finish their meals.  A brilliant move by corporate to keep the children quiet and entertained.  

Our group on our way out to head home, and nurse our inevitable hangovers, stopped in the lobby to plan the next evenings party events.  A few of us hung out at the Hostess station.  The others headed to the wishing well.  Paul, And a couple others, each found a little plastic boat each in three different colors.

The three of them armed with tiny plastic boats got a bright idea and headed to the men’s room.  The great Perkin’s boat race was on!  They each dropped their six inch plastic boat into a toilet bowl.  Bets were made.  No idea who, but the toilet was flushed.  Round and round the three little plastic boats raced downward into the vortex.  As the three little plastic boats raced, the contestants and spectators in the handicap stall cheered on their chosen boat. 

Everyone began yelling, “Go, go, go…c’mon, go!   No, hurry get in there!”   Strangers opened the men’s room door, but left immediately upon hearing “sonovabiach, get down in there,”. Perkins staff ran in to quell the commotion, shushing us to keep quiet as the lobby was filled with our inebriated excitement in the toilet bowl boat race.  But seeing 8 guys in and surrounding a handicap stall, they decided to let things be as they were.  

I do not remember who won the great Perkins little plastic boat race.  But I do remember seeing the faces of fellow dining patrons, Perkin’s staff and the cute hostess.  Their faces said it all.  They were perplexed, horrified, bewildered and frightened.